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From Sexual Abuse to
Compassion Sensuality
The seeds of what was to become Compassion Sensuality
began in my relationship with one of the female figure
drawing models as a 23 year-old design school student.
She had been brutally raped and abducted a couple of
years earlier at age 16, and while well-meaning and in
some ways helpful, my desire to help "heal" her was
painfully naive.
Yet that relatively short romance was a pivot turning
point that only surfaced many years later in various
forms.
One being that I attracted people of both genders who
had been sexually abused, from "only" verbal molestation
to rape.
Artwork is one way I express such things at times: the
above illustration is something I made for one such
woman as a way for her and I to in essence meditate on
her healing her "valley of pleasures" back when launched
this site.
Naturally, one can attract such fellow souls and
experiences to oneself for a wide variety of reasons:
part dharma and also as mirrors of some of one's own
wounded parts of self.
Owning Sexual Wounds and Respecting Boundaries
Whether due to my own birth and in infancy trauma (which
may or may not have been overtly sexual) and other
unusual sexual life experiences during my teens, there
is also an underlying thread of trying to complete or
heal something through this entire discovery and
experience of this kind of sexual variation of Metta
(Loving Kindness).
This includes setting boundaries (such as not being the
projected target or victim of an abused woman's
unresolved rage at all men). But most of all
-- a zero tolerance
towards disrespectful, degrading to violent attitudes, words or actions
by men (or anyone really) towards children, women and
the elderly. Or anyone vulnerable to misuse.
I do have some
substantial and to one degree intuitive understanding
what fuels the most abhorrent to simply disrespectful
words and behavior of some, but it's still no-go.
That is, one can draw on a powerful sense of
compassionate Yin tenderness beyond one's personality or
ego when dealing with such excruciating release of pain
in another soul, as well as even understanding the roots
of abusive tendencies, yet also maintain a gracefully
discerning Yang detachment.
______________
In terms of labels or
qualifications of this journey of discovering,
expressing and experiencing Compassion Sensuality, some
have referred to me as being a "Daka" (male spiritual
sex practitioner/teacher).
Yet as with most aspects
of my life, I don't really fit into any category nor do
I consider myself a teacher per se.
I simply walk my
path and trust that this offering somehow fits into the
collective widening spiral of our re-Awakening.
An Early
Wide-Angle Perspective (Bio Info Stuff)
I was born in Switzerland to an American journalist
father and an aristocratic Hungarian mother. It was a
multilingual (English, French, Italian, German)
upbringing and I graduated from a French High School and
moved to U.S. in '74.
Coupled to the inner journey itself, this multicultural
exposure (i.e. having been to 22 countries by age 18),
all of this instilled a tendency to seek understanding
in more inclusive, and ultimately more "spiritually
democratic" ways.
My Catholic mother had also been a volunteer courier for
the Allies during WWII to help get Jews out of Hungary,
and my father was likewise a gutsy man with high
intelligence.
Therefore there is an inherently gentle yet daring and
inclusive spirit within what has been unfolding as
Compassion Sensuality and all of its in-progress
creative expressions.
Thank you for your visit and interest.
With kind regards,
Philip Steven Knight
CompassionSensuality.Net |
